Bi-Coastal Police Blotter Haiku

You know the drill: I scan the police blotter columns on newspaper websites and summarize some of the incidents as haiku. An impressionistic snapshot of conflict, tragedy, or low humor in 17 syllables.  Sometimes, 18.

Three of today’s batch of seven come from newspapers on the California coast.  The other seven come from south Florida. It may amuse you to guess which are which.  Exercise your stereotypes.

Somehow I think I’ve posed this challenge before.  On another planet, perhaps. At any rate, enjoy.

…so he pulls over
to ask the cop for help with
this live hand grenade…

Head-on collision.
Neither party foresaw one
on a jogging path.

“Why can’t the neighbors
be more accepting of my
screaming therapy?”

Retail, at 80.
And your co-worker beans you
with a pricing gun.

Their fight was just words.
His much-scratched arms were the work
of her surly cat.

Almost a knife-fight.
But for their teenage son, who
took away their blades.

He, for gambling debts,
sold her jewels but Mom loves him
and won’t press charges.